– I’m not being legalistic here, just giving you an informal guide to how you can expect me to act as I attempt in my haphazard yet strangely charming way to do business

 

Credit

Nope, don’t do it. No cards either. Strictly cash on collection please.

Deposit

Don’t do those either – your amp is your deposit. If there’s a big parts outlay I might get on to you and ask you for some upfront money to cover it – but probably not.

Pricing

I will charge according to my published prices. If my bill seems to you to be more than the amp is worth (and if it seems to me to be in that category I will already have called you), which would mean that the unrepaired amp was worthless, I offer to take the repaired amp in lieu of payment, thus leaving you in the same financial position you were in before you gave it to me, rather than a worse one. The aim of this perhaps strange-sounding offer is to underline my sincere wish not to make you pay more than the fixed amp is worth unless you want to.

Slo-o-ow payers

If I tell you your amp is fixed and you then take more than three months to collect it, I reserve the right to keep it, or to sell it and keep all the proceeds. The same goes for amps left with me after you told me not to carry on with the work because of cost or whatever other reason. I can’t be a free storage facility, I don’t have the room, so after three months I reserve the right to dispose of the item, or sell it if it has any value.

No fix, no fee

Just another peace of mind thing for you. If you give me an amp and tell me what fault you want fixing, and somehow it turns out that the fault doesn’t get fixed, there will be no fee (unless of course you asked me to stop work before the fault was fixed).

Publicity

It has become fashionable in the trade to advertise by showing details of repairs on social media etc, so I’d better try and keep up. Unless you tell me otherwise, I may use pictures of your amp and details of the repair for promotional purposes, on the website or in social or other media. I will not make public any other details about you. If you don’t want your amp on facebook or wherever, no problem, let me know when you drop it off and I won’t do it.

My guarantee:

In general, I propose to do things properly. I guarantee that what I’ve charged you for is what I’ve done; that I use reliable parts that won’t fail unreasonably quickly; that the bits I’ve fixed won’t come unfixed because I didn’t fix them right; that I didn’t unfix anything else while I was fixing it… and that if I do fail you in any of these ways I will put it right for nothing if you bring the amp back to me. But do remember that amps, especially old amps, especially old amps that haven’t worked for ages, may well go wrong in a different way once I’ve got them up and running, and of course that’s another repair and another bill. But hey you knew that.

Is that it?

No, there’s loads more small print, silly me I just can’t remember any of it right now…